The way we had all known him, there were no signs in him that would prompt us to think that he is going to put a full stop to his present way of life; leave us all to single mindedly pursue God and dedicate his self to the service of the larger humanity.
He never had any particular interest in religiously following things such as praying, going to temples, or any such ritual that would indicate his great worship or God. Of-course, serving people is something any good samaritan would gladly take-up.
However, towards the time he left home, he was said to be in lot of praying and spiritual reading. You might recall as I explained, my home had my aged mother who can neither understand what he is doing with clarity nor she can advise him on matters she herself might not understand well. Even otherwise, if someone was reading spirituality, praying (not very openly), while still on the outside working and reporting for the New Indian Express, why one must think that he is going to announce his departure from a life at home?
I also remember few incidents when he argued with me about the numerous human Gods we have in India today whom I have absolutely no respect for. All people portray them as Gods on the basis that they are doing a lot of charity and helping poor people.
My argument is that “if there was enough money with us, you, me, or for that matter any good individual with compassion in mind, would offer help. Infosys foundation headed by Sudha Murthy (Narayana Murthys wife) is said to be at the forefront of helping needy people. Does that make her and her husband a human God? Those who help others are definitely doing Gods work but that does not make them God itself. Microsoft chief Bill Gates gives away billions to those in need, what about him as God? What about Warren Buffet, the richest man today, who offered a great amount of money for Bill Gates foundation for helping people, as God?
My concept of God is one power that’s beyond the comprehension of ordinary thinking. The power that moves the world the way it does. A writer wrote in rediff.com recently that the worlds best lab can not produce a grain of rice pointing out the presence of an infinite power. To me that mystery of life is God. Scientists to the tune of Stephen Hawking has no real clue about the composition of our universe. To me, that mystery of the universe is God.
During our discussions, my brother always reiterated “he wants to see God”. I still do not understand any bit of what he was trying to say. Others who was part of our discussion often answered him, saying, “your mother is your living God” – but may be he was not sure?